Sunday, June 28, 2015

TTT - Part 1

1.
"So nice to have you back. I missed you so much," she said.
Outside the window, the clouds were weeping with tears of joy.

 2.
Blast.
Old age.
Suicide.
Cancer.
To the soil, they were all equals.


Just felt like writing some Terribly Tiny Tales :)

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Don't ask me so many questions. I do not have answers for you. You tell me to 'see what's important for you'. And yet you don't understand, that it's you. It is fucking 'YOU'!

Yes, you are important. But, you are not all that matters... Not the one I should be with, but the one I want to be there for. Not the one I love, but the one I care for, a hell lot. You draw me closer, overwhelm me, surprise me, touch me, understand me, hurt me, make me smile, silence me and make me speak. I've lost my sleep over you at night, spent days thinking about you...

And yet you ask...



Friday, June 26, 2015

Maybe it's something else we wanna hear..
Something else we wanna say..
But it's alright coz we barely read faces, let alone minds
And the heart, well, go figure...

If my words were scripted to suit you, would they still be mine?
Would you be mine?


Monday, June 22, 2015

Silences and somedays..

There is a lot we take to the grave
Not just an empty body, discarded
But so many secrets filled inside

So many battles won and lost
And even more dreams for the never seen morrow

Some leave themselves breathing in memoirs
While many fade to months and years

There is a lot we take to the grave
In the hope that someone will unearth it all.. Someday

But 'somedays' are just like tomorrows..
They never arrived.. Never existed..

Speak your heart coz today is ours
Coz all you hold will only turn to dust...

 

Sunday, June 21, 2015

What is it here that you come to read?
Trying to find the keys to my soul. Or answers to your questions. Or yourself in my words…

Is it my distance that gets you curious? Do you come here only when I don’t talk to you for days at end, just to know what’s happening?
Or are you the one who visits me here almost thrice a day… like my words were therapy prescribed to you? Maybe it’s what you call therapy… Maybe it’s what I call slow poison… Coz I prefer to write when something consumes me… something that could be fatal, if not let out…

And while you get thinking, if this post is about you, let me tell you, you may not be alone…
Read it over and over, between the lines… Did you see glimpses of a ‘me’ you didn’t know at all?

The keys to my soul… Your answers… You…

Did you succeed in finding any? Or are you still lost?

Saturday, June 20, 2015

There may be days words fall on to paper like raindrops to the earth,
and times when it takes thunder to break the silence.

Therapy... Isn’t that what writing feels like on a melancholic rainy night…


Saturday, June 13, 2015

It is difficult to forget that familiar smell

Of embalming salts in the chemistry lab,
where your gaze first met hers in an explosive reaction.
Of that steamy chicken sizzler on your first date,
when you realized she was actually a vegetarian.
Of scented candles, the white Vanilla ones her ex gifted
that buggered up your climax on the first night.
Of the stove you left on, in a bid to whip her a surprise breakfast
at the cost of a burnt down house.
Of her freshly washed locks, that herbal shampoo
that provoked you on a perpetual sneezing spree.
Of her charred steak, an experiment you forced down your throat
for the sake of love for food.
Of the cupboard, her clothes neatly stacked right next to yours,
making you feel like the most uncivilized mortal.
Of clotted blood, that made you faint when you played smarty
and chose to accompany her to the OT.
Of her musky perfume, which you were certain was yours
once upon a time, now sitting in her purse.
Of her oils and canvases, every time you invaded
her studio-cum-bedroom in search of the kitchen apron.
Of the incense she burnt at the altar, ignorant of your atheistic tastes,
as long as it kept the mosquitoes away.
Of the pain relief spray, evidence of how you accidentally dropped her
when she got too heavy.
Of vintage wine, stolen together as teens,
uncorked on the day you celebrated your son’s wedding.
Of the accidental fart, the only one she ever let out in your presence,
all nose and ears in those many years.
Of the flowers you gift her on every special day, every year,
in return for her everlasting love and presence.


By me, always

There are no conditions in a relationship that is selfless. Your dignity is shared just like your heart. There are no priorities, just a lot of concern. His choices become yours. You seek happiness in his highs and cry with him through his lows. Yes, you are two individuals in this together. But the selflessness literally makes you a part of one common whole. When you get accolades, he knows he has made it big. When you fuck up, he feels disappointed at himself. He wants to see you grow, coz that is something he sees his happiness in. He will let you chase your dreams, explore different worlds. Keep his fears to himself and yet stand by you whenever you fall. He will bandage your bruises, be your crutches till you walk again. And even though you may not be all of this to him, he will still think you are worth it and be the same till your last breath..

That's the love that fairy tales talk of. That's the ideal and perfect guy every girl dreams of.. That's my guy, my blessing through my messes. My good deeds in my past life. My reason to pull on. My strength, my all.

And even though he may not understand me that well, even though he may fail to read my mind or complete my sentences.. He seems just right for a girl like me.. and I hope to love him till the end of time..

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

There's such a lot happening. So much where I once thought you could have been my pillar.
Your absence has made me realize my strengths. Realise that life's battles are best fought alone or with those who could at least cover your wounds.
From someone who I spoke to for hours at end, to small talks, to none. Enjoy my silence. It's here to stay.

Monday, June 8, 2015

They will not write about us...

They will not write about us because darling we’re not in love and we both know that poems ought to be about lovers or mothers, not best friends halfway in the middle..

I'd never kiss you, but our hands fit like puzzle pieces and your smile makes my heart sing. When you cried for me, your voice was thick with fear and awe and I knew then I could break you. The thought terrifies me because you deserve better.. Yet I would die for you..

We are not the stuff of legends in this world where it’s only love if you fuck. The stories people want to hear end in a kiss, not a high five or a fistbump, but if I've got you I don’t need to make history..

And while you do not kiss away my tears, you let them seep into your shirt and to me, that is just as good..

- Anonymous

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Pre monsoon thoughts

I wish I could make
Every drop of rain
Trickle off your nose
For me to drink it off your lips
So it wouldn't kiss the ground
Creating a flood inside me
And puddles in your eyes

This time the eyes flooded
At the thunder of your silence
Washing away your lips from mine
Drowning all memories of summer..

To think the rains had not yet come...

 

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Feelin' creative

I created something really inspiring for myself today. I wish you were around so I could show it to you. Maybe, someday... or never...
For now, I know it would have made you smile.


I read a quote this evening.. it said "Maybe we feel empty inside because everytime we grow close to someone, we leave pieces of of our heart behind"
And those pieces never really come back to you.. And you don't have the heart to return the pieces someone lovingly left you..

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Main tenu fir milangi

The most beautiful love story is the one that goes unrequited...
In the words of Amrita Pritam


Main Tenu Fir Milaan Gi
Kithey? Kis Tarah? Pata Nai
Shayad Terey Takhayul Di Chinag Ban Ke
Terey Canvas Tey Utraan Gi
Ya Khowrey Terey Canvas Dey Utey
Ikk Rahasmayi Lakeer Ban Ke
Khamosh Tenu Tak Di Rawaan Gi
Yaa Khowrey Sooraj Di Loo Ban Ke
Terey Rangaan Wich Ghulaan Gi
Yaa Rangaan Diyan Bahwaan Wich Baith Ke
Terey Canvas Nuu Walaan Gi
Pata Nai Kiss Tarah? Kithey?
Par Tenu Zaroor Milaan Gi
Yaa Khowrey Ikk Chashma Bani Howaan Gi
Tey Jeevan Jharneyaan Da Paani Udd-da
Main Paani Diyaan Boondaan
Terey Pindey Tey Malaan Gi
Tey Ikk Thandak Jahi Ban Ke
Teri Chaati Dey Naal Lagaan Gi
Main Hor Kujh Nai Jaandi
Par Aena Jaandi
Ke Waqt Jo Vii Karey Ga
Aey Janam Mairey Naal Turey Ga
Aey Jism Mukda Hai
Tay Sab Kujh Muk Jaanda
Par Chaityaan Dey Dhaagey
Kaainaati Kana Dey Hundey
Main Onhaan Kana Nuu Chunaan Gi
Dhaageyaan Nuu Walaan Gi
Tey Tenu Main Fir Milaan Gi…


Translation
I will meet you yet again
How and where? I know not.
Perhaps I will become a
figment of your imagination
and maybe, spreading myself
in a mysterious line
on your canvas,
I will keep gazing at you.
Perhaps I will become a ray
of sunshine, to be
embraced by your colours.
I will paint myself on your canvas
I know not how and where 
but I will meet you for sure.
Maybe I will turn into a spring,
and rub the foaming
drops of water on your body,
and rest my coolness on
your burning chest.
I know nothing else
but that this life
will walk along with me.
When the body perishes,
all perishes;
but the threads of memory
are woven with enduring specks.
I will pick these particles,
weave the threads,
and I will meet you yet again.