Tuesday, April 30, 2013


And then the realization dawned 
It only happens once
That only once can you command the Universe 
To love you more than life itself
That miracles are not commonplace

A little poem carved on the rocks
A chord chiming in the heart
A voice of soothing forlorn comfort
A healing touch of sensual bliss

It all happened only once
And it will never happen again
And if it does? 
It's time to wake up. 

Sunday, April 28, 2013


I felt like I had surrendered everything
To the water, to those waves.
I had never felt so redeemed, so lighter, so alive.
Yes, my breath was restricted. I was told to not use my nose.
And slowly I let go, every inhibition. Every fear.
I let myself float. Eyes wide open. Staring into the blue.
Yes, there was a floor underneath me. I could see it.
But I could hear nothing. Not a single panicky voice. Not a single taunt.
Just a thumping inside my chest. A really overjoyed one.
I held on to a rod for a while. And then I let it go.
I let myself float. In the same water that once drowned me.
I breathed out when I could hold no longer. I surrendered myself.
Over and over and over again. I was addicted to its dominance.
The water and its ripples. I wanted them to command me.
I wanted to sway to their tunes. Bob up and down with every gush.
Even as I stood , I didn't need a floor under me. I let go.
And it carried me. Back and forth. To the safer shore.
I walked across the huge mass. It slowly consumed me and let me emerge.
And soon I became one with the blues.

Just what you need after a waterlogged day.
A peaceful swim.

Saturday, April 13, 2013


Crimson seeping out..bit by bit..drop by drop..
Slowly out of fleshy barriers
Carrying with it every wound inflicted
A witness to days of solitude and nights of betrayal
A few drops more to eternal peace
A life escaping is last breaths and sighs
A pool of crimson all around
A gash of clotted tears
A lifeless form staring back

Who needs a full-stop when a slash can seal it all?

Thursday, April 11, 2013

A Rendezvous with Rakshanda Khan - Back in 2009

I AM:  Miss Rakshanda Khan  
I WAS BORN ON: 27/09/1974 in Mumbai.
PROFESSION: I am a TV actress by profession. I started my career as a model. Nowadays I am also running an event company named ‘CELEBRITY LOCKER’ at Mahim.
I LIVE: At Lokhandwala with my parents, my brother, my bhabhi and his pet parakeets.
MY HOBBIES: when you are doing television, you hardly get any time to dabble with your hobbies. During my school/college days, I was an avid reader. My breaks and recesses were donated to the library.  I used to hide novels under my texts and read them during exams. Fortunately I always ended up getting above average marks….so no one got wise! During my earlier days in the industry, I worked up to 14 hours a day. I used to make it a point to watch a movie after getting home. That distressed me. In between shoots, I love listening to songs on my IPod. As far as reading goes, now I prefer those books which can be read at one go!
MY EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATIONS: I have been born and brought up in Mumbai.  I attended only one school and one college. ….no switching institutions for me. I studied at Alexandra Girls English Institution from nursery till std. 10th. Thereafter I chose to go to St. Xavier’s college. My mom had studied there. I graduated in BA-English Literature in the year 1995.My father was apprehensive about sending me to a co-ed college. But he finally agreed. I took active part in Malhar and I won the pageant titled Miss Malhar in TYBA. But the organizers lost my crown!
MY CAREER GRAPH: I come from a very conservative family. My family wasn’t in favour of me opting for modeling as a career. I got my first break when designers Abu Jani and Sandeep Khosla chose me as a show stopper for their Ramp Show at Delhi……12 years ago. Since they were family friends, my parents readily agreed. After this show, I shot for invites before ramp shows. That’s when ad-man Ashok Salian took notice of me and recommended me for Nivea. This was my first ad campaign alongside actor Sudhanshu Pandey. Following that I campaigned for Roop Milan saris with noted photographer Atul Kasbekar. The next 4-5 years were spent in modeling and ramp shows. Later director Ken Ghosh wished to portray me as a VJ. I hosted countdown show on Zee TV, ‘Top of the Tops’.
I was getting offers from Balaji Telefilms since the past 2 years. I accepted and got a role in ‘Kya Hadsaa Kya Haqeeqat’……..a thriller. Thereafter I hosted a season of IIFA Awards. I was then offered a role in Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahin (JJKN). I essayed the role of a vamp named ‘Mallika’.
Then came Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi (KSBKBT). I played ‘Tanya’ a good vamp!! I was assured that it would be a good role because I didn’t want to play another negative character. Thus in spite of being the ‘other woman’, I had public sympathy! J
My next task was anchoring. I was asked to participate in a reality show ‘Kabhi Kabhi Yaar, Kabhi Kabhi Pyaar’ alongside Gauri and Hiten Tejwani. I chose to anchor the show instead.
I am currently working in a show called ‘Kitani Mohabbat Hai’ that airs on NDTV Imagine. I am also busy handling my event company.J
TANYA OR MALLIKA, YOU ARE MORE LIKE: Both Tanya and Mallika were similar. They could do anything for winning back the love of their life. While Mallika would go for the kill, Tanya preferred shedding tears….all for love!! I don’t completely relate to any character though I sympathize with them. Both of them were extremes……….poles apart!
MY ACHIEVEMENTS: I won 2 Telly Awards for JJKN and 2 Star Parivar Awards for KSBKBT. But my biggest achievement came 6 years ago when I purchased my own house in Lokhandwala area of Mumbai. I founded my own event company too after that.
MY STRENGTHS: My family is my pillar of strength. Whenever I mess up my life, they come in and control the damages. I have been lucky enough to choose the right friends. I am known for my rationality, good counseling habits, patient listening ability……thus I am an agony aunt to most of my friends.
MY WEAKNESSES: my temper, I am very impulsive while taking major decisions concerning my life…I regret later. I am also quite a foodie. I live to eat!!
I LIKE:  Hanging out with friends, co-stars, travelling, getting acquainted with new cultures, shopping, eating, my coffee at Barista and the Mumbaikar spirit.
I DISLIKE: Dishonesty, arrogance, traffic jams, pollution, infrastructure in Mumbai………yet I can’t live anywhere out of Mumbai for long…..so used to life here!!
MY INSPIRATION:  I don’t get the concept of giving credit to just one person for being an inspiration all through life.  As for me, different people at different stages in life have influenced me, made me the individual I am today. To name a few, my parents, Eunice D’souza ma’am at Xavier’s. The values that my parents have instilled in me still hold true, because I continue to have a good reputation in the TV industry.
MY WORST NIGHTMARE: Waking up one morning and realizing that the people who are close to me are no longer with me - physically or emotionally. Losing name, fame and success.
WHEN FAILURE STRIKES: I believe in drowning my sorrows in eating and shopping…….but these are temporary relievers. Self-introspection, talking to loved ones helps in the long run. One must stay connected to the ground, to one’s roots. One must be aware that one cannot be on a high always.
MY BIGGEST PRIORITY IN LIFE: Not letting down the people who have faith in me.
MY ULTIMATE GOAL IN LIFE: To be contented at the end of the day…..be it sans fame and success.
MY SUCCESS ‘MANTRA’: Do what you believe in. Be yourself.  In my case, planning never works. I believe in destiny. I believe that someone up there charts your life.
IF NOT AN ACTRESS I WOULD’VE BEEN: A journalist. I love meeting people, investigating matters, visiting places, writing travelogues.
MY OPINION ABOUT LIFE: Never settle for less than you can be.
MY MESSAGE TO BUDDING ACTORS/ACTRESSES: Work on your craft, the fame (and money) will follow. All that you need is a passion to act within you.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Khoop ya vaadyaas daare

खूप या वाड्यास दारे 

एक याया कैक जाया 

दो घडी येतात तेही 

लावूनी जातात माया

पाखरांची मुक्त मांदी

गात हे आल्हाद नांदी

अंगणीत आलात डोळे

एकनाहती शुभ्रभाति

आणखी रात्री पहाटे

चांदणे शेजेचं येते

आणि फुलेदेखील माती

स्वप्नेच्या राज्यात नेते

मी खरात तेथील वासी

हाणवाडा ही सराई

पाहुणा येथे जरीही

जायेचि माते न घाई

(A beautiful Marathi poem from a beautiful movie)