Friday, October 12, 2012

Entangled minds - VI

Dear Joy,

I don't understand the language of riddles.
There is a very thin line between love and friendship. And sometimes I wonder which side of the line you are on. It took me a while to understand my own stance, but now that I have, I am writing to you. 

There is a vast difference between admiration and love. I admire you, for the caring and sensitive person you are. I don't love you Joy, because you're the most perfect guy I have met till date. Yes, you're just too perfect, too good at everything you do. And thanks to this perfection, you've been my knight in shining armor on so many occasions, you've helped me clear obstacles that scared the wits out of me, you've been a ray of hope in so many dark hours, you promised me that we'll face it together and lived by every word. 

But no, I cannot expect any of this anymore, because I am not capable of loving anyone, anymore. 

You tried to stir the chords of my numb heart 
Tried to melt the walls with your melody
But alas! The fire was put out long ago
And the embers are stone-cold dead
Don't try to kindle them... 



This is the one and only time that she wrote to me. I was hysterical the day I read it. I wanted to grab her by the arm, look her in the eye and question her. But then, something stopped me. It was the sheer admiration for her, that respect she commanded. Eileen always had valid reasons for everything. She believed that every event under the sun happened for a greater good. I gave up the idea. 
That was the day I realised, I was in love with Eileen. 
That was the day I accidentally bumped into your mother, Aparna. 

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