Thursday, March 31, 2011

A home away from home?

Strolling about in the streets of a city that has been flowing in my blood since the past 2 years. It's scorching heat that gets on my nerves, the honking of buses that lead to some respite from the otherwise hopeless scenario of transportation, the un-foodie's paradise. Where nightlife is dead and crashing of sea waves a distant mirage. No homes of the known, all faces anew. Homes, do they even exist here?
It's been two years, well almost. Still you are a stranger. A stranger who stalks my existence, with memories good and bad. A stranger whom I will escape from in a matter of a few months. A stranger whom I will never return to.
I don't know how I stay within your bounds. I don't know how I digest all the shit you throw in my face. I don't know how I tolerate your restrictions. I don't know how I put up with your ever changing rules that I am forced to imbibe. You have mesmerized and hypnotized my loved ones. They speak good of you.
But who can know you better than me. I stay with you. I have seen your real face. I have seen your sufferers. Sadly, I am one of them.
But, for how long will you trap me in your snare? 2 down, 1 more to go.
I wait for the day I will be redeemed of your tortures.
I hate you Hostel!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A blast from the past

Once upon a time, a very timid and loyal wife came across a letter in her husband's cupboard as she was looking for his keys... It read...


Dear Boyfriend,


It has been around 18 months since we have been dating each other. I know all about your past and that this has been the steadiest of all the flings and/or serious relationships that you were in. I am proud of that. I am proud of us.


I browsed through your profile the other day on a popular social networking site. Alas! out of curiosity. I came to know of details of your life, two years prior to me. I wondered, is this the guy I fell in love with? The change was for the greater good. I kept mum. I read on. Being the possessive bitch that I am, I kept a look out for special dedicated pieces of text. Call me sly!


"Just proposed a girl and got rejected"
"Is in a relationship and it is complicated"
"Had a break up and feels like yayiee!!"
"Is now single"


Then followed some comments. Comments which I thought were kiddish. The kind of language that
you reprimand me for today.The kind of immaturity that pisses you off. Felt good to know that you were once like me.
A lot of posts by girls. You were so much in demand indeed and so flirtatious too. You wrote a little blog for someone, 'liked' the worst of photos. So not You!
Sigh! you so detest those very people, who are (still) in your friend list today.


I came across some of my comments. I used a lot of caps lock and dots. How aesthetically unpleasant. I deleted some. They were too lame.


I did all this, not because I had ample of time, but just to know you better. A realization that you have changed drastically, for your own good. I don't think I would have fallen in love with that guy two years ago.


But then...I asked you out first. You were taken. I became the cause of bitterness. The third person, knowingly, unknowingly. I ruined pleasant memories, put an end to the good times. You stopped me and encouraged me. And everything shattered. You, her, me...
Though I always wanted it to be that way... was I ever the girl you fell in love with? Or did you just compromise for my happiness that day? Did I force you into something?


It does not really matter. I know you love me more with every passing day. That even if you didn't feel for me back then, you do now. That you were my first love and I pray t'will be 'our' last.


Love you :*


Your nth Girlfriend

Smiling, she grabbed the bunch of keys and headed towards the main door to hand it over to him. As she coyly blushed to herself, "Can't believe I married him! Can't believe its 18 years!"

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Mismatched

Some conversations with near and dear ones. 

"Let's go out and eat something."
"No. Please. I feel like being home today."

"Hey let's watch a movie this Sunday."
"Whoever wakes on Sunday before noon? Get real."

"I love the way she teaches. So interesting. How can you sleep in her class?"
"I wonder how you manage to stay awake for that torturous session."

"Teach me how to drive. I wanna learn."
"I can't put your life at risk"
"Why? You think I won't be a good and sensible driver?"
"I don't trust the other nerds on the road. What if something happens to you?"

"Let's go for lunch to Changs."
"I want to eat in peace when I go there. One hour of a lunch break, eating in a rush. Chuck it na."

"That shirt is so tacky!"
"Shut up! You have no sense of fashion. It looks sexy."

"When will you ever learn to mature and talk sense?"
"I don't get your definition of maturity."

Some conversations make you feel so opposite to the people you are close to. Such an odd person out. Such a mismatch.
Yet, such ties are stronger than that of two like minded mortals.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Division of labour

My mom often tells me, "Never get married to a lazy man."

Marriage has a very significant phrase attached to it. It is called 'division of labour'. No scope of blame games or over-burdening. You do the cooking, I'll do the dishes. You pay the bills, I'll do the earning. You wash the clothes, I will iron them out. You take the kids to school, I'll pick them up. You take the dog to the vet. I'll get the medicines. You write the article. I'll proofread and make suggestions.

A story of 'You' and 'I'.
You babysitting for I. I taking care of your guests. You making up for I's illness. I covering up your mistakes. You expect of I. I expect of You. You stand for me, I stand for You. Making up for each other's absence, faults, weaknesses and bad times.
But when it boils down to 'Only I' or 'Only You'...

And my mom often tells me, "Never get married to a lazy man." Sigh!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Wishes

Sometimes, you ask life for one reason to keep you happy

Some expected deeds from expected people
A place worthy of calling a home
A little bit of indulgence
A little bit of living for yourself

And they say, it's asking for too much. Stop expecting. Stop hoping.
And this is what keeps me going.
Acceptance.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Yes, I am upset from within. Yes, I feel like crying out loud. Yes, I am angry at myself. Yes, I don't say it. Yes, I accept defeat.
Yes, I don't exist. Neither do my tears, neither does my laughter.

So, why do you care?

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

A wisecrack once said

Truth.
We tend to ignore it.

And when you face it, it hurts deep.