Sunday, October 31, 2010

My Angel

He waits for me to come. He asks for me everyday. He has only heard my voice over the phone. He keeps babbling, "Come to Goa". He keeps asking for bread. He gets scared of 'bumbas' (ghosts in his baby language). He loves my parents more than his. He is affectionate and loving and neglected...

He is the youngest in the family until I was two years ago. He is lanky, tall and intelligent. You can only see his eyes. He loves dogs and catches them by their tails. And I am so sure we'll have the same taste in choice of people. We hate the same people, we love the same people.

Gosh!! there is so much I have heard about him. From dad, from mom.

My two year old cousin, Tevory. I have never met him, seen only pictures of him. Heard his shy voice over the phone....
Dying to meet you my angel =)
Dying to see a glimpse of my own childhood days.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

From A to B to C to..........

In a couple of days, I'll be away from Pune. Back home. Back to where I belong. My hideout, my home =)

And then in another three days I'll be off to the land of beaches (Goa) alone. Be meeting people called 'relatives' after nearly 11 years. Some young, some on the death bed. The irony is that, I know I'll be seeing some people for the very last time.
There are also some who I wish I could kill, brutally murder. Yes, I feel that kind of violence everytime they cross my mind. And I do hope to accomplish some bit of it when I go there. And I will, much to a lot of dismayed minds. Who cares anyway?
Because there are people there I love and care a lot for, and these bastards kill them everyday. It's time they get a dose of their own medicine.

After 5 days, I'll be back to Mumbai and home again. Be there until my indecisive college finally gets manly enough to take decisions on time.

Lots of travel, lots of tasks !!!
And I am all geared for it

It's just that I am gonna miss You bigtime!! =(

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Hot and Cold

I want to capture her mystical moves
As she gracefully sways to the tune of winds
Her golden body bathed in illuminance
She ignites the fury raging within
Her hot breaths giving a pleasured warmth
Dancing intensely in the dark of the nigh
She commands my undwindling gaze
She kindles that flame of hope in despair
Her presence melts the strongest barriers
Even in the coldest heart of stone
She is that spark in every desire




She is 'Fire'...
My chosen element for the Photography assignment

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Moments

Moments are like grains of sand
You try to hold on, but for how long?
They slip away from the firmest grip
And then we look for them
In the vast abundance of golden shores
We spend a lifetime reliving those moments
And yet we ask for more
But moments lost are lost forever
Even time can't return them back
You can seek solace in what you have
But do you have enough?

Create moments, create memories
You never know when you may need them
Coz moments are like grains of sand
You try to hold on, but for how long?
They slip away from the firmest grip
And then we look for them
In the vast abundance of golden shores

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Angel....

And if you are reading this, I still remember this song...

Angel, put sad wings around me now
Protect me from this world of sin
So that we can rise again

Oh angel, we can find our way somehow
Escaping from the world we're in
To a place where we began

And i know we'll find
A better place and peace of mind
Just tell me that it's all you want - for you and me
Angel won't you set me free

Angel remember how we'd chase the sun
Then reaching for the stars at night
As our lives had just begun

When i close my eyes i hear your velvet wings and cry
I'm waiting here with open arms - oh can't you see
Angel shine your light on me

Angel, will we meet once more - i'll pray
When all my sins are washed away
Hold me inside your wings and stay
Oh! angel take me far away

Put sad wings around me now
Angel take me far away
Put sad wings around me now
So that we can rise again

Why did you set me free?

Escape?

Open your eyes and look around
What have you lost, what have you found?
Have you learnt a lessson yet?
You have been trapped in a vicious net

Open your eyes and look around
Can you still hear a melodious sound
There is a way out, but you can't see
Coz you are blinded and deafened to eternity

Open your eyes and look around
Does his wicked shadow still surround
Until you are in his tightened fist
You can't distinguish clarity and mist

Open your eyes and look around
A number of feelings and emotions abound
Regret, remorse, sadness, depression...sigh!
You accept defeat and then get high

Open your eyes and look around
What have you lost, what have you found?
Will you ever escape that grip?
Will you ever forsake that trip?

Adjustments

Yes I am a Kid
I love sitting on swings
I love eating chocolates and ice-creams
I love talking lame things
I let you parent me
I break balloons on birthdays
I laugh on the silliest of jokes
I am immature
I don't understand grown up things
I am with the 'lame' company

And You think you are grown up
Because you are 'mature'
Because you talk grown up talks
Because you stay with people who are grown up
Because you ridicule a lot that kids love
Because you are always right

And why do kids and grown ups have this great divide between them?

they both have different definitions of fun
they both have different people to be with
they both have different jobs at hand
they both ridicule eachother's choices than respecting them

but don't they have a lifetime to spend together?
How do they end up doing that?

Friday, October 22, 2010

When I need you the most

When I need you the most...
You are seldom by my side
Sometimes I wonder if it is your fault
Sometimes I don't pay attention at all

When time cheats us both
Keeps you occupied, and me yearning for you
At times, it is the other way round
Why this situation, so frequent, Now?

Maybe I ask too much of you
Maybe I cling on, when I am not supposed to
Maybe I got more used to you than you got to me
Maybe I was selfish, impulsive, impatient

I have forgotten the life I had before you
I can't seem to go back to it
Do I have a world beyond you?
Maybe I don't want one

Just waiting for you to understand
Just praying for time to rewind
Just remembering the days when we were all to ourselves
Just craving for your mere presence

When I need you the most....

=) / =(

The start of something new!!! =)

Yes life is cheating me in so many ways
Maligned, ditched, literally bruised, used and thrown

But the joy of newness, makes me overlook it all!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Uncertainty

So, I don't know if these are my last few days here or there will be more to come after 2 months.
If only I knew well before...would have lived these days to the fullest.
Spent those evenings more fruitfully

I keep getting notions, intuitions and most of them turn out to be true.
Now when I actually need an intuition to guide me on my future months, my mind goes blank

So much of uncertainty

Coz, if I go away, I am gonna regret not spending enough of my last few days with them
And somewhere, they'll regret it too
When we'll be miles away

But yet, was it my fault, that we were not together?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Renewed faith

Renewed faith in life, in relationships
Every problem seems so small,
You instill that feeling in me
My lucky charm =)
Walk with me forever

Those glass earrings

Those glass earrings
Reflecting the light of your love
As vast as the blue seas
As cerulean waters kiss the clear white skies
Twisted like a conch
Like the ones we lifted
As we walked along a sandy stretch
Footprints engraved on the moist golden grains
I wished time would stop
As cackling gulls and lashing waves hit my ears
You held me so close
As the receding ocean tugged me
We stared at the beautiful moon
Flawless like our bonding
Silence began singing, we danced to our own music
Wishing that some moments would never come to an end




 

Monday, October 18, 2010

Bahhhhhh!!!

Life is so messed up!!!

Pending things to do...time management....health matters....assignments.....'broke'ness....bad food =(
Everything happening at the wrong time. More conflict in life than in a 30 minute soap.
And every solution merely adds to the confusion
Gimme strength!!
I need a holiday...a week of hibernation, where no one can find me

But yes, to an outsider, my life is perfect!
So contrary to what I feel....
But at the end of it all, isn't all this confusion heading me to a greater good? *grins*

Psychobabble

"Sherry, I am going."
Can never forget those words...
So wished I was by his side
The last phone conversation, never heard him after that

Life is indeed so temporary
I so wish to meet you up there .... I so want you to greet me when I leave this materialistic world
I know you are happy...I know you are His chosen One
But you left so many grieving behind

Yes, I do hope you are reborn... in some form, somewhere, sometime
And we shall meet again.........in your world or mine

My close buddy Aniruddha Bhogle (09/05/1991 - 22/04/2009)

All this makes me fear, can I take the pain of separation, of death?
Every relation you create on Earth is temporary because life never came with the immortality tag

But some people in life make you love it so much!!
You say to yourself, "I wanna live"
Atleast me or anyone would wanna die before their loved ones. You can watch them safe from up there, guide them and welcome them when they die

These days I have been reading a lot about afterlife and the spirit world. Surprisingly all my intuitions are coming true.
Is that the reason for this psychic outburst?

Sunday, October 17, 2010

There is Mehndi all over my hands
And each time I put it .....it seems darker than the previous time

Coz you love me a lot more each day

Just woke up after a 8 hour sleep....and it is still 7:50am, Sunday morning

Saw a weird dream.... recollect every bit of it
Too personal to be shared on a blog....

Was it that hectic chase in the dream or the 8 hours? Ahhh the freshness!!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

After a Loooong time...

After a Loooong time...
I feel complete
Lots of tasks to settle, loads that I am currently working on

But one thing bothers me,
What about Me, Myself, My space?
There are so many things that need to be set right in my life
None of these tasks are me !!

Why do I still do them?
For the love of being busy?
Not really !!

Need lessons in time management ...like desperately!
Or maybe someone to do my work for me

So I can peacefully catch up a light nap and give my swollen eyes some rest.

Wish I was home!! =(
Some days more....

Friday, October 15, 2010

But.....

You'll create a world of fantasy

Where its all rosy, beautiful

But you'll be jolted back to reality, soon



Your eyes will wander in quest

For a vision that made your day

But darkness will greet you



You'll search the warmth of compassion

Of the voice that were once music to you

But silence is all you'll hear



You'll seek proximity of mind and body

Of your soul, your reflection, your shadow

But distance is all you'll get



You'll crave for understanding, encouragement

A bigger hand to hold yours

But alone you'll stand



You'll wish that the past rewinds

The return of joyous moments

But time will betray you and walk ahead



You'll try to determine the depth of love

Though blind, yet not ignorant

But you'll never know



You'll read this poem and wonder

Is this meant for me or have I wronged someone

But will you ever realize?